The New Five-Year Plan
Whenever someone at work asked about my five-year plan, my mind immediately went blank. I would scramble to assemble a few corporate buzzwords, hold them up like a shield, and pray the conversation moved on before anyone realized I had no master plan to conquer the world.
I thought I had left that dread behind when I walked away from corporate life.
Then, recently, I was catching up with my friend Queenie and mentioned this blog and my outfit app, Fitting Room. She asked the question:
"Are you going to monetize it?"
A familiar freeze washed over me. It felt exactly like being cornered in a conference room by an executive demanding my roadmap.
My old reflex kicked in. I gave Queenie a sensible, half-faked answer: "Eventually."
Then I rattled off the textbook justification. I told her lots of apps start out free to test the waters, collect user feedback, and build a reputation. That part was true—nobody buys anything from a stranger without a track record, and an app cannot improve without real users. But deep down, I knew why I said "eventually." It sounded responsible, and it bought me time.
When I told another friend about the blog, he asked the exact same thing: was I planning to monetize it?
This time, I didn't reach for a script. I just looked at him and said nothing.
He nodded. He had only known me a few months, but he seemed to understand: I was probably just doing it for fun.
It reminded me of Eddie, the mentor from my first post. The one time I answered the five-year-plan question honestly, with "I don't know," he said, "Yes, it's very difficult to figure out."
Not everyone lets me off that easily. My friend Mark is a banker. He knows better than anyone that I have no financial plan and no head for money, and he still asks me whether I'll monetize things, like my Instagram.
Filling the Empty Hours
The truth is, I have never had a monetizing mindset.
Making a lot of money was never built into my head. I have never had a financial plan, and I never had the ambition to be a big boss. For as long as I can remember, money had three purposes: survival, buying things I like, and travel.
Right now, I only work part-time. I teach design a few days a week, teach free community yoga, run my social club, make Instagram videos, and build things with AI.
When my mom found out what I make as a part-time lecturer, she said it was a fraction of what I used to earn. She was comparing months. I compare hours. I teach six hours a week, and by the hour, teaching pays much more. My old job did pay more overall, but it took sixty hours a week, and it left me depressed and unwell, in body and in mind.
And now I find myself surprisingly content.
When I worked full-time and earned a large paycheck, I shopped constantly. Clothes, shoes, bags—anything that caught my eye. Back then, I thought I was treating myself. Looking back, I realize I was just trying to compensate for feeling empty. Work left me hollow, and I thought buying things proved that my grueling hours were worth it. It was an expensive way to validate myself.
Now, my days are filled with things I actually care about, and that urge to buy things all the time has gone. I don't need shopping bags to validate my day. Without that emptiness to fill, I feel far more content and happy.
Eventually
Which brings me back to that dreaded question.
"Are you going to monetize it?"
I am not pretending to be above money. Even right now, a sensible part of me feels "I should" think of more ways to make money, which indeed would make my life easier. I agree that maybe I need to shift my mind toward more monetizing thinking.
But for some reason, it's just not wired to that button yet.
When I sit down to write a post, build an outfit app, or plan a walk for my social club, the commercial switch simply doesn't flip.
I say this not because I want to turn into a motivation card, or slap a Nike phrase like "Just do it" across my forehead. I don't do these things out of noble ambition.
I do them because it's fun.
When I started vibe coding, nobody was paying me. When I launched this blog, there was no business model. When I lead a hike or a city walk for twenty people, I make zero dollars. But my mind is curious, my heart is full, and the days belong to me.
Maybe eventually, as I told Queenie, that button will get connected. Maybe I will figure out how to make some money from these experiments. But until that wire plugs in naturally, I'm not going to force a five-year monetization plan onto things that bring me joy.
So, yes, just have fun!
The friend who nodded got all of that from my silence. It took me a whole post.
那顆按鈕還沒接上
五年計畫，以及那句讓人窒息的「你要用這個賺錢嗎？」
新版五年計畫
以前在公司上班的時候，只要有人問我未來的五年計畫是什麼，我的腦袋就會立馬當機。為了讓自己聽起來不那麼蠢，我會慌亂地把一些企業用語拼湊在一起，希望對方聽完就可以換話題了。
我本來以為，離開大公司之後，我再也不用面對這種壓迫感了。
結果完全沒有。
前陣子我和友人 Queenie 聊天，提到我剛開的這個部落格，還有我用 AI 做的穿搭 App「Fitting Room」。她聽完之後，拋出了那個問題：
「那妳有打算用這個 App 賺錢嗎？」
那一瞬間，那個熟悉的感覺又湧了上來。這簡直就跟當年被大老闆逼問五年計畫一模一樣。
我的職場求生本能立刻被激發，並下意識地給了她一個很體面的標準答案：「嗯……遲早吧。」
說完之後，我還試著幫自己找台階下。我跟她解釋說，很多新的 App 一開始都是免費讓大家用，先測試市場、累積真實使用者的反饋，把知名度做起來之後再變成收費軟體。這番話其實也是事實，畢竟沒有累積好的評價的話，根本不會有人願意付錢買這個 App。而且，不拿到真實使用者反饋，產品也沒辦法改進。但我心裡很清楚，我之所以脫口而出「遲早吧」，純粹只是防衛機制在作祟。因為這樣回答聽起來很合理、很專業，而且可以幫我爭取時間。
另一個朋友聽我聊到這個部落格，也問了我完全一樣的問題：你要用這個賺錢嗎？
這一次，我沒有搬出公關說詞。我只是看著他，什麼話都沒說。
他點了點頭。我們才認識幾個月，但他好像懂了：我大概只是為了好玩在做這件事。
這讓我想起第一篇文章裡的 Eddie。唯一一次我老實回答五年計畫的問題，說「我不知道」，他回我：「是啊，這真的很難想清楚。」
但不是每個人都這樣放過我。我的朋友 Mark 是銀行家，他比誰都清楚我沒什麼理財觀念、也從來不規劃財務，卻還是會問我：你的 IG 可以賺錢嗎？
填補空虛的代價
回過頭來看，我這輩子真的從來沒有過「賺錢思維」。
賺大錢這種事，從來就沒有寫進我的出廠設定裡。我沒做過長遠的財務規劃，也完全沒有想當大老闆的野心。我對金錢的想法一直很簡單：賺錢是為了生存、買自己喜歡的東西，還有拿來旅行。
現在的我只做兼職工作。我每個禮拜花幾天在學校教設計，另外教免費的社區瑜珈、辦週六的社交活動，剩下的時間就是做 IG 影片，或是用 AI 做點小實驗。
我媽知道我當兼任講師賺多少之後，說我現在的收入怎麼比以前少這麼多。她比的是月薪，我比的是時薪。我一個禮拜只上六個小時的課，算時薪的話，教書其實比我以前的時薪還要高。對啦，以前的工作總收入確實比較高，但我每天加班，一星期工作六十小時，且常陷入憂鬱，身體和心理都不健康。
而現在的我，卻感到前所未有的踏實與滿足。
以前全職上班領高薪的時候，我買東西買得非常兇。衣服、鞋子、包包，看順眼就買。那時候我以為我只是在犒賞自己，但現在回頭看，我才意識到那只是在填補空虛。那時候工作很累、心裡很空，我覺得買東西可以證明自己辛苦工作是有價值的。那是一種代價昂貴的自我肯定。
現在我的生活都是在做自己真正想做的事。當心裡不再空虛，那種隨時想買東西的慾望就不見了。我不再需要靠購物來彌補自己，日子反而過得比以前知足，也快樂得多。
遲早啦
這又繞回了最初的那句靈魂拷問。
「你要用這個賺錢嗎？」
我不想把自己包裝成看破紅塵的高人，我從來沒有看不起錢。老實講，就算到了現在，我心裡也常常有個聲音在提醒自己：「Sophia，妳真的應該多想想賺錢的門路。」這確實是事實，賺多一點錢，生活肯定會輕鬆很多。我也完全同意，自己的腦袋也許真的需要多一點賺錢思維。
但不知道為什麼，我腦袋裡負責賺錢的那顆按鈕，到現在就是還沒連上線。
每當我打開電腦寫部落格、用 Claude 寫穿搭 App 的功能，或者安排一場城市漫遊行程的時候，我腦袋裡那盞商業的燈從沒亮過。
我寫這些，不是想把自己變成勵志小語書籤，我也沒打算學 Nike 喊一句「Just do it」來感動世界。我做很多事情，真的不是因為我有什麼崇高偉大的抱負。
純粹就只是因為好玩而已。
我剛開始玩 vibe coding 的時候，沒人付我半毛錢；我架起這個網站的時候，也沒有任何商業模式；我帶二十個人去爬山，去逛博物館，也完全沒收錢。可是我的生活很豐富，我看到好多好玩的東西，有好多美好回憶，且我的時間完完全全屬於我。
也許有一天，真的會像我跟 Queenie 說的那樣，那顆按鈕終於被接上線，然後我的商業腦袋燈泡也亮了。但在那根電線自然接通之前，我不想急著拿一張嚴肅的五年商業計畫，去框住那些此刻能讓我感到快樂的事。
所以，我玩得開心就好了。
那個對我點頭默認的朋友，從我的沉默裡就懂了這一切。我卻為此寫了一整篇文章。